Funeral Celebrations of Life, Memorials and Scattering of Ashes attract many pages of taglines because our lives are always filled inevitably with all life events, including deaths. But more recently our world has been filled with a whole new set of challenges, namely Coronavirus.
The last two years have been a horrific struggle for many of us, for many reasons, and many people held funerals which were hastily arranged with only the closest family present. Not many people are talking about quite how painful it was, but as a nurse with many colleagues in the midst of it, and having had some personal experience, I thought that I would. I attended one such funeral for a close family member; a few people spread out, some crying through masks, and being told off for moving closer to console one another. Genuinely incredibly traumatic for those concerned.
We are now seeing many families make plans to hold a memorial, scattering of ashes or celebration of life service. Now that restrictions have been lifted and we return to normality, there is, for some, still an important need to pay tribute and get together to mark the passing of friends and family with more of a sense of tribute.
A discussion and sharing; what was their legacy, what made them laugh, spending time together.
Making space for memories and a marking of some of the grieving process, that for some might not have been quite so easily shared because of the lockdowns. Many bereaved will have been isolated themselves from normal social groups, with whom they might have normally been supported.
There is no one size fits all memorial, and grief is an incredibly personal thing. But we learn from each other and Celebrants can help you plan these types of events. We can guide you with suitable places and companies to help make your gathering the way you wish it to be.
We are all qualified to help support you, whether you want us to write and give a eulogy, lead a service, incorporate religion or spiritual aspects or for it to be an entirely non-religious affair. You may want to share music and song, photos and stories, either way, a gathering can help the grieving process for everyone and we are happy to help in any way we can. There are many great celebrants in the UK so find someone near you who seems to be a good fit or you could arrange it all yourself as a family.
But thats not really the point of this blog. I wanted to say that its OK not to be OK. Grief is not a linear process and you may find yourself struggling more because of your experience. Young people might want to do a sofa, sleep over night and a chance to talk with friends and remember. Children might want to do a memory box gathering pictures, videos, treasures. A Celtic band and a Ceilidh might suit you, or a nice walk by a lake to scatter ashes with friends. Either way, saying “I’d like to do something”, sounds like a great idea, if that’s what you want and you feel it would help you say goodbye and remember.
